Yes, Madison, Alaska IS Part of the United States

Get ready, y’all. I’ve decided to mentor a Millennial and I’m going to be blogging about it.

I felt compelled to take on a pupil, in short, because I felt like the end of the world was coming if someone didn’t start teaching these Millennials the things they no longer teach in school. You know, things like archery, sewing, cooking, spelling, and basic math. One day I couldn’t do easy math in my head, and so I started doing math longhand to keep my mind sharp. My mind was forgetting how to add. That’s science guys, I didn’t make that up. It’s like, neurotransmitters or something.

That having been said, they DO still teach geography in school, and Madison must’ve been absent the day they talked about Alaska. To be fair, she is twenty-one, and she’s not in college, so it’s been a while since she’s studied the states. I’m very close friends with her mother, and I’ve known Madison for about twelve years.

She is like a daughter to me. So when her mother told me that she said, “Do they take American Money in Alaska?” I did the biggest #facepalm ever and decided something needed to happen. Because if it didn’t, we were all going to perish, and in three generations, there will be nothing left but cockroaches. Because we would’ve blown ourselves up. Because we can’t do basic math without a calculator.

I mean, think about it. We’re all laughing about Millennials and sharing hilarious Facebook videos, but if this generation is so bad, what will the next one be like?! It’s not going to get better, folks! That’s frightening.

So today we’re learning ALL the states. She has to study until she can do the map for two days in a row. To be fair, I only got 70% on the test my first time, so I’m studying too!

I want to be very clear in saying that I don’t think Millennials are dumb or unintelligent. Madison is a VERY intelligent girl. She just doesn’t apply herself, like most of her generation. I’ve always been sort of a mentor for her, and I’ve worked with her at different stages of her life, and I’m super excited to really make it official and put a mentoring program in place.

This new generation has grown up with every tool they need for success at their fingertips. This is why many of them are not successful. They’ve taken the tools for granted. Worse, they’re so used to getting rewarded for coming in twelfth that their minds are bred to expect a reward for very little effort.

Want a successful business? Oh sorry…

You have to work really hard for that.

Like Pavlov’s Dogs, Millennials are so conditioned to instant gratification that they salivate at the prize, and expect to receive it every time. And if they don’t… Well the tantrum has been modified to blast across the internet. Good thing I took that psych class at the Junior College before I dropped out!

So here we are, it’s Day One of Madison working as an intern and learning. I’ll never ask her to do anything I’m not willing to do myself, I’m grateful for all her help, and I’m excited to see what she teaches me about life.


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